We are waiting for the steps to move

Apparently that's what the pilot tells you at Heathrow terminal 5 when there is no driver available for the little step-truck thingy that attaches to the plane's entrance and allows all the passengers to disembark (that is one word I was really confused about till recently).

Today I felt like updating 'em blogs for the sake of principle, mainly.

Happiness. That's what I feel at the moment. A small, warm, fuzzy feeling inside me (no, I did not eat a hamster or something). It makes me full of energy and love <3 You know, love for all my friends and people who love me back :) It's a win-win situation! Happiness can come from anywhere, and there is nothing better than finding happiness all around you, even when you're not technically looking for it.

Appreciation. One has to appreciate the precious gift that is life - with all its up's and down's and swirls and loops... It's life and you've got it! And you should be thankful about anything that happens to you! Appreciate others, appreciate yourself.

Simplicity. Life is simple, like a game. The goal is to, erm, reach the end and score the most points. I don't know, interpret that as you find appropriate. I think people tend to overcomplicate life just cause it's 'the greatest mystery'.. 'why are we here?' ... 'what is our divine purpose - and why are we so much different from any other living creature on earth?' I don't know.

Honestly I don't know where this post is even headed. I might be writing a stream-of-consciousness piece (unconsciously!). Whatever it is I'm doing, I believe my ultimate goal is to say that I'm really grateful about everything that happens to me. Seriously, I wouldn't change my life if someone offered me that option. Sure, it has its bad sides, but come on, why focus on them? Just go with the cool side, the bright side (ask Monty Python for details).

Life is not that complicated. Go with it! Not with the flow, of course, for that would mean you're a sheep floating in a river. Go with what life gives you is more of a statement I would make.

Be awesome!

And you'll see the steps will move and you'll get off the plane alright.

The Quiet Streets of Richmond

Picture London, one of the greatest cities in the world! Multicultural population, thousands of people living together, with so many tourists around all the time it's hard to ever be alone, you might think.... Some areas in this busy city are quite the opposite: quiet, deserted, suspended in time.

I was thinking about that tonight as I was walking up Richmond Hill. It was barely 8:30 p.m. yet for a 20-minute walk, I saw 6 people... SIX. And they were all in the more popular part of the borough. It feels so strange to walk in the darkness (London is way up north so it gets dark early) and hear no sound except for the occassional wind whistling and see no one around me... For a moment, I really thought time had stopped and I was the only person out there.

I was the sole soul roaming these streets. There was a black cat, too. All the little English houses were dark, though a few had their lights on, but no one in the living room. Only two homes were inhabited at that time, one of an artist who also kept fitness equipment in his living room, and the other of a person watching TV. Where did everyone go? In all those movies where a nuclear weapon wipes out all people but miraculously leaves the houses intact, the main character would walk down deserted streets, pretty much like I did tonight.

I could even hum my own song... Heck, I could shout at the top of my voice and no one would care because no one would hear because no one was there! Solitude can be depressing.

Only I was not depressed - far from it, I was imagining I was the main character in such a movie and was trying to solve the mystery of all the disappearing people... :)

Once again I need to say, maybe out of the blue, that people should be happy with what they get. They should cherish the moments of happiness and not focus on everything negative in their lives. That is where most problems with people come from - from their inability to APPRECIATE things. I could have wined about how boring those streets were and how I was oh so alone and miserable... HA. Some other time, baby.

Like artists who make sculptures out of junk they have at hand, or cooks who just look in the fridge and make do with whatever's in there only to create a Jamie-Oliver-class meal... in such a manner, people should take advantage of what they have and be glad they have it!

So stop complaining NOW and be grateful for even being here!

Miscommunication

It's unbelievable how one tiny detail changes the Big Picture.
A different sound, a different letter... changes the meaning.
A different word - oh lord - can have dire consequences.

Miscommunication.

As a communications major, I believe I understand the tremendous importance of effective communication, seen as anything we do probably needs to go through other 'brinks' in this chain, and all the elements need to be on the same page.

(Gosh my grandpa's here blasting the radio in the room next door cause he can't hear too well = me frustrated for no particular reason... it always happens when I'm trying to focus on something... somebody walks in and the Great Distraction begins... end of ranty aside)

The same page.
The same paragraph.
The same line.
The same word.
The same letter.

See, it can always be broken down to the smallest particles, like protons and electrons and various laws of attraction. Attraction is the force that keeps us together.

Pull yourself together!

Not an easy task. You need another body to 'pull yourself together' because your own gravitational field is not strong enough to pull your particles together, at least mentally.

Mental health is as important as physical health, and strongly linked to it too.

My mom and dad and I had an argument a couple of nights back. Why? My dad and I are freaks, we have the type of sense of humor that makes a joke out of pretty much anything. We were fully employing that sense of humor on mom. Until she felt genuinely hurt... She wasn't talking to us for a while. She was angry. Why?

MIS communication... understanding... take... use... any of these really....

and this is where i draw the line

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The fruit and the tree...

I don't like kids, and we all know that too well. I especially despise kids who are misbehaved, annoying, spoilt, mean, weird, and ugly...

Well, I know one kid like that. He's a boy, 12.5 years old. Annoying as can be! Actually, let me rephrase that, he's almost as annoying as his disgusting father. Seriously. I'm not exagerrating and I'm not ashamed to use negative words to describe that family from hell... :) (Keep in mind that I'm a lovable creature in general).

So that kid, who you would imagine killing kittens, breaking windows, defacing public property, and bullying others in his spare time, decided to keep me company yesterday for about an hour. See, I am a kind creature or else I would have never let the brat sit next to me... And there I was, with my guard put up high, and with all the aforementioned activities coming up in my mind.. talking to the kid.

He saw me draw again. And he said nice things about my drawings... And I thought, wow... What's gotten into the brat?! He can actually be GOOD? (*just as a side note, that child is really one you'd be amazed to see do anything positive).

Then he decided to join me - he asked for a piece of paper, took some crayons and asked if he could watch me draw and learn from what he called 'the master.' So I thought, okay, no problem, let's do this.

As we were drawing, he said that his dream was ... to become... an ARTIST... !! (my jaw dropped imaginarily)... And then... even more jaw-droppingly, he said that he also wants to help endangered animals when he grows up.. WHAT??? My world was shattered... Is this the same kid? Mm-m-maybe some alien has taken over his body and is saying those things... Seriously...

I was amazed and mildly pleased. I also felt like a fool.

It just made me think about the old saying that "the fruit never falls far from the tree." The "tree" in this case - his father - is a scary, mean monster who bosses everyone around, shouts at his family, doesn't show any affection towards his son (or daughter), and is, so to say, almost as nice to have around as a bullet to your brain. No joke. He abuses that child, by the way.. he's just too aggressive and violent- sometimes he scares my parents and the other adults with his behaviour... yet no one is brave enough to oppose him. Evindetly, a kid which has been treated like crap all his life would likely become a psycho or a serial killer.. NOT an animal rescuer...?! Hmm... Well, hopefully the little boy will grow beyond his father's tyranny and will live a happy life somewhere in Africa alongside sleek cheetahs (his favorite animals)....

Road Rage

My lazy summer days ceased last week as I began an internship at a company in Bulgaria. As part of my job, I was given the task to research everything and anything related to Bulgarian drivers...

Ah, Bulgarian drivers. Such sweet people... such tolerant, patient souls... pedestrians are always safe, always have the right to cross the street without any danger for their lives... IN ANOTHER COUNTRY perhaps...

In Bulgaria, it is exactly the opposite. If you're standing on the ground, you have to follow a set of ground rules, or else survival is futile. Here is some expert advice to anyone interested.

DRIVERS
Okay, you're in your car, heading to work. What is the first thing you should know when driving? - everyone else is a moron. Therefore, rule number one is, never trust any other driver. If you're trying to get on a main road from a side street and you see a car which is headed towards you, but seems to be slowing down, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT try to go on the main road because as soon as you speed up, the other car will speed up too, cross your way, and possibly blow its horn as loudly as it can at you. Expect finger gestures too.
Load your tank with gas (despite high gas prices), and more importantly, load yourself with patience... It will be aggressive, it will be fierce, it will be unbearable, yet you should not give in! Chillax. Turn on the radio, sing out loud, and NEVER look other drivers in the eyes, as that will probably give them a reason to shout at you.
Beware from little VW cars which zoom from lane to lane as if they're part of Midtown Madness or the Beetle Crazy Cup (both are computer games). Also, when cars in general want to make maneuvers, you should bless their drivers if they turn on their signal lights as they make the turn.
Counting seems to be an issue. If there are two lanes on the road, and those two lanes lead to a set of 2 traffic lights, how in the world is it possible to fit three queues of cars on there!?
Bus lane - is to be used by everyone, including horse carts.
Ambulances, police cars, firetrucks - are not to be allowed to pass you. Right, who cares if a blue light is blinking? The garbage truck has a blue light too, but do we let that one go? Nope.

PEDESTRIAN SCALE SYSTEM
Elderly people (60+) - 10 points
Adults (25-59) - 15 points
Adolescents (13-25) - 20 points
Kids (0-12) - 25 points
Lawyers (666) - 30 points
Politicians ($$$) - 70 points

How to apply scale: for every pedestrian you run over, you add the amount of points listed next to it. Points allotted according to a) size and mobility of target (the more difficult it is to hit, the more points you get); b) how much you hate the target (more hatred, more points; you are allowed to add 200 extra hate points to targets that drive you especially insane).
First driver to reach 2000 points in a year wins!! (Record holder: 8 750 points/year)

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Pedestrians are not safe with the raging drivers around. Whether they cross at a cross-walk, or at a green light, or just randomly in the middle of a busy road, their chances of getting hit are pretty much the same.

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Once again, being aggressive, screwing up others, causing trouble, shouting, pointing fingers, spitting, swearing, sweating, honking, and other wonderful activities have become the cornerstone of Bulgarian driving etiquette.

Good night.

Conflict and Compromise

Last year I learned in my Organizational Behaviour class that compromise is one of the efficient ways to deal with conflicts. Two sides want something, each side gets something, only no one really gets what they originally asked for. Still, mutual happiness, partial if so, is still achieved. It seems like you're holding a winning hand when you're settling on a compromise... But what do you actually lose in order to gain whatever you're after?

I am not specifically referring to compromise in the business deal sense of the word because frankly I don't have the expertise or ambition to teach you successful business skills. I would like to show you the human side of compromise, also known as giving up/changing part of your identity due to external circumstances.

We, humans, are always put to a test - a test of our values, of our morals, of our personal strength. Our goals and aspirations are a target way up high, and we'd do almost anything to reach it. Along the bumpy road to that target, we'll meet other people who, just like us, are struggling to reach their own little goals. Those who will boost us to our target faster become our 'friends', while the others who seem to a) be heading towards OUR target or b) be preventing us from reaching our target immediately become 'enemies'. But wait, here's the trick: soon we build up a new goal - to crush our enemies at all costs! And look, before we know it, we've redirected our energy towards preventing others from taking our goals instead of solely trying to reach those goals. Does it make any sense? As I'm writing this, I can just see some people saying "Well, how do we follow our own goals if we don't make sure we're not threatened by others' plans?". The answer is.. I don't really know.

But let me tell you a story to try to illustrate what I mean. My parents were giving me one of those 'talks' which are a nightmare for every child. The two of them against me. Of course we didn't reach the state of open fire, but that's mainly because I despise arguing... and it's also much easier to end a fight if only one side is 'shooting' whereas the other one is silently taking the hits, but healing quickly too. Either way, the topic of discussion was.. my future. Great! Just what I needed - an argument about virtually unknown things. I don't know what my future is and I have no idea where I will end up in a couple of years. My parents were telling me, though, that no matter what career I chose, I'd have to be more pushy and aggressive, and out there, showing off my ideas and "mashing everyone along the way." End quote. Also, apparently others will constantly be trying to snatch the fruits of my hard work and present them as their own. In other words, my parents painted a pretty dramatic picture of the real world, complete with hatred, competition, and hypocrisy. And surely they would know, since they've been living in the 'real world' for a while now and have encountered too many people who tried to stab them in the back many a times.

And that's when I started thinking about this whole thing... The world is evil anyway. Hatred, aggression, individuality, zealous ambitions are everywhere! Everyone wants to succeed, apparently, and the easiest way to success is through others - literally squishing them along the way. No competition, no concerns. We all become part of the great dehumanizing machine where the fuel and energy comes from .... money. Sadly, material goals usually are preferred to non-material ones...
Why build a career? - Money
Why go to school? - To make money eventually with the education we got...
What do you want to have when you grow up? - A nice house, a pony, and a closet full of shoes!! (aka money)

Money is needed for almost everything these days! People go crazy for it - cash, cards, dollars, pounds, coins, gold - any shape or size, with preference for greater value; people kill for money, betray for money, wage war for money, bribe others for (and with) money, brainwash society for money, make goods to make money, marry for money, go into business to make money, strive to succeed at any cost for money..........

So here is the business deal: on one side you have YOU, your morals and values. On the other side, you have a big safe full of hard cash. Hmmmm... You really want that cash, right? Well, your parents may have taught you honesty and integrity, yet you seem to be willing to compromise those along with some other human characteristics in order to get at least part of the cash in return. You sacrifice good will, helpfulness, altruism, chill spirit - and get what? Envy, competition, dog-eat-dog, and quite a few last straws... You maybe get the money in the end... But for what? What is money when you've lost touch with your core, your soul, your heart? When you've chosen to take the easy path to success, paved with mean acts and others' suffering... You've become part of the mass of people who don't think twice before doing something evil /aka screwing others over in order to get what they want. And what happens to the good-do'ers? Who cares, they're a rare breed anyway... And what better feeling than tricking somebody who was just trying to be nice to you? Ha. Sure. Again, this world is headed in a wonderful direction - to a world of ponies, rainbows, happy fairies and butterflies... not.

On Love and Life...

I should be sleeping now. I really should. But somehow I can't go to bed... Once again I've been thrown off balance by the foolish acts of others. Let me start off from the beginning....

I have big ears. Therefore, I hear a lot of things, some of which I probably shouldn't know... One fact I heard is that the year 2008, being a leap year, is considered the year of separations, the year of divorce, the year of broken relationships. As all things overheard, I am not 100% sure that this statement is true, yet I have enough stories to make me believe that 2008 is indeed a bad year for relationships.

I've been back home for about a month. In that month, I've heard AT LEAST 6 stories of love drama and divorces... and you know what is even worse?? Most of these families never had problems; they seemed like a perfect match! And one day... POOF. It's all gone.

Also quite coincidentally, most of the 'culprits' are around or right above the emblematic age of 50. These mature men who have been living decent to wonderful lives with their wives, all of a sudden decide to go for younger flesh... For something fresh, slim, blonde, long-legged, juicy, sexy...and for the most part something lacking any personality... These men have lost their minds and have started thinking with their 'little heads' which are incapable of anything but stiff thinking. I am sorry but this is appalling!

People who until yesterday were talking about soulmates and true love start hunting down blonde chicks today with the sole idea of humping. How can they let this happen? How can they hurt the ones they love so much? Of course, you'll tell me, sometime a marriage can get a little bit stale, and since men practically live for sex 80% of the time, they might need some spice in their lives. But to see people - who were happy with their spouses, who kept saying how much they love each other, and who were making plans of basically dying alongside each other - forget everything and jump on the hump wagon is just unbelievably shocking.

What is this world coming to? What happened to love? How is it that one could leave their best friend, soulmate, and lover for a sexy body????? It makes no sense. And okay, these men in their fifties, leave their wives, find young lovers, and make sweet love.. for how long Gramps? Don't they understand that if they hook up with a 25-35 year old woman, she might be interested in them for a bit, but soon their semen power will go down drastically and then what? Oh wait, they won't think about that.. ever.. because they are blinded by boobs.

And what about their wives? These women, 40 and over, are thrown out like old, raggedy bags. What, so a woman who no longer has the perfect waist and shiny skin is not worth anything? What is this cult to the skinny body anyway? It's utterly shallow and materialistic. It shows that there is great confusion among people about true values...

These affairs cause nothing more than suffering for the women and perhaps temporary pleasure for the men. Still, I personally feel like kicking all those men really hard in the place which makes them leave their wives, technically. These adults were supposed to be role models for their children, but instead they have betrayed every value they have ever tried to teach their kids.

Today, kids, we learn the values of:
*backstabbing
*shallowness
*physical over spiritual connection
*listening to the reproductive system instead of to the brain
*lying and deceit
*stupidity
*generally spitting on everything you believed in and taking a new direction

I don't know if I should be angry or depressed, or desperate, or indifferent, or amused... Anything is possible, really. And this whole month has turned into a soap opera... Could make some money off of it if nothing else...

A New Beginning

Hello Dear Reader.
I am 21 years old - the age when I am legally an adult in every country around the world and am expected to act as one as a result. Yet I still run into so many people who look down on me because of my age and 'lack of experience', they say. Perhaps I have not lived on this earth as long as others have; and maybe I have not been through as many challenges as others; and maybe I never had my life completely in my hands, financially or otherwise... yet I believe I understand how this world works. Or let me rephrase that - I understand how this world should ideally work.

And so I have decided to dedicate this blog to my own thoughts about ... everything and anything. From existential questions to mediocre daily happenings, I will try to put through my point of view. You are welcome to read anything you want and to get any meaning out of my ponderings... I just feel the urge to share these thoughts with you. Enjoy.