Road Rage

My lazy summer days ceased last week as I began an internship at a company in Bulgaria. As part of my job, I was given the task to research everything and anything related to Bulgarian drivers...

Ah, Bulgarian drivers. Such sweet people... such tolerant, patient souls... pedestrians are always safe, always have the right to cross the street without any danger for their lives... IN ANOTHER COUNTRY perhaps...

In Bulgaria, it is exactly the opposite. If you're standing on the ground, you have to follow a set of ground rules, or else survival is futile. Here is some expert advice to anyone interested.

DRIVERS
Okay, you're in your car, heading to work. What is the first thing you should know when driving? - everyone else is a moron. Therefore, rule number one is, never trust any other driver. If you're trying to get on a main road from a side street and you see a car which is headed towards you, but seems to be slowing down, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT try to go on the main road because as soon as you speed up, the other car will speed up too, cross your way, and possibly blow its horn as loudly as it can at you. Expect finger gestures too.
Load your tank with gas (despite high gas prices), and more importantly, load yourself with patience... It will be aggressive, it will be fierce, it will be unbearable, yet you should not give in! Chillax. Turn on the radio, sing out loud, and NEVER look other drivers in the eyes, as that will probably give them a reason to shout at you.
Beware from little VW cars which zoom from lane to lane as if they're part of Midtown Madness or the Beetle Crazy Cup (both are computer games). Also, when cars in general want to make maneuvers, you should bless their drivers if they turn on their signal lights as they make the turn.
Counting seems to be an issue. If there are two lanes on the road, and those two lanes lead to a set of 2 traffic lights, how in the world is it possible to fit three queues of cars on there!?
Bus lane - is to be used by everyone, including horse carts.
Ambulances, police cars, firetrucks - are not to be allowed to pass you. Right, who cares if a blue light is blinking? The garbage truck has a blue light too, but do we let that one go? Nope.

PEDESTRIAN SCALE SYSTEM
Elderly people (60+) - 10 points
Adults (25-59) - 15 points
Adolescents (13-25) - 20 points
Kids (0-12) - 25 points
Lawyers (666) - 30 points
Politicians ($$$) - 70 points

How to apply scale: for every pedestrian you run over, you add the amount of points listed next to it. Points allotted according to a) size and mobility of target (the more difficult it is to hit, the more points you get); b) how much you hate the target (more hatred, more points; you are allowed to add 200 extra hate points to targets that drive you especially insane).
First driver to reach 2000 points in a year wins!! (Record holder: 8 750 points/year)

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Pedestrians are not safe with the raging drivers around. Whether they cross at a cross-walk, or at a green light, or just randomly in the middle of a busy road, their chances of getting hit are pretty much the same.

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Once again, being aggressive, screwing up others, causing trouble, shouting, pointing fingers, spitting, swearing, sweating, honking, and other wonderful activities have become the cornerstone of Bulgarian driving etiquette.

Good night.