Conflict and Compromise

Last year I learned in my Organizational Behaviour class that compromise is one of the efficient ways to deal with conflicts. Two sides want something, each side gets something, only no one really gets what they originally asked for. Still, mutual happiness, partial if so, is still achieved. It seems like you're holding a winning hand when you're settling on a compromise... But what do you actually lose in order to gain whatever you're after?

I am not specifically referring to compromise in the business deal sense of the word because frankly I don't have the expertise or ambition to teach you successful business skills. I would like to show you the human side of compromise, also known as giving up/changing part of your identity due to external circumstances.

We, humans, are always put to a test - a test of our values, of our morals, of our personal strength. Our goals and aspirations are a target way up high, and we'd do almost anything to reach it. Along the bumpy road to that target, we'll meet other people who, just like us, are struggling to reach their own little goals. Those who will boost us to our target faster become our 'friends', while the others who seem to a) be heading towards OUR target or b) be preventing us from reaching our target immediately become 'enemies'. But wait, here's the trick: soon we build up a new goal - to crush our enemies at all costs! And look, before we know it, we've redirected our energy towards preventing others from taking our goals instead of solely trying to reach those goals. Does it make any sense? As I'm writing this, I can just see some people saying "Well, how do we follow our own goals if we don't make sure we're not threatened by others' plans?". The answer is.. I don't really know.

But let me tell you a story to try to illustrate what I mean. My parents were giving me one of those 'talks' which are a nightmare for every child. The two of them against me. Of course we didn't reach the state of open fire, but that's mainly because I despise arguing... and it's also much easier to end a fight if only one side is 'shooting' whereas the other one is silently taking the hits, but healing quickly too. Either way, the topic of discussion was.. my future. Great! Just what I needed - an argument about virtually unknown things. I don't know what my future is and I have no idea where I will end up in a couple of years. My parents were telling me, though, that no matter what career I chose, I'd have to be more pushy and aggressive, and out there, showing off my ideas and "mashing everyone along the way." End quote. Also, apparently others will constantly be trying to snatch the fruits of my hard work and present them as their own. In other words, my parents painted a pretty dramatic picture of the real world, complete with hatred, competition, and hypocrisy. And surely they would know, since they've been living in the 'real world' for a while now and have encountered too many people who tried to stab them in the back many a times.

And that's when I started thinking about this whole thing... The world is evil anyway. Hatred, aggression, individuality, zealous ambitions are everywhere! Everyone wants to succeed, apparently, and the easiest way to success is through others - literally squishing them along the way. No competition, no concerns. We all become part of the great dehumanizing machine where the fuel and energy comes from .... money. Sadly, material goals usually are preferred to non-material ones...
Why build a career? - Money
Why go to school? - To make money eventually with the education we got...
What do you want to have when you grow up? - A nice house, a pony, and a closet full of shoes!! (aka money)

Money is needed for almost everything these days! People go crazy for it - cash, cards, dollars, pounds, coins, gold - any shape or size, with preference for greater value; people kill for money, betray for money, wage war for money, bribe others for (and with) money, brainwash society for money, make goods to make money, marry for money, go into business to make money, strive to succeed at any cost for money..........

So here is the business deal: on one side you have YOU, your morals and values. On the other side, you have a big safe full of hard cash. Hmmmm... You really want that cash, right? Well, your parents may have taught you honesty and integrity, yet you seem to be willing to compromise those along with some other human characteristics in order to get at least part of the cash in return. You sacrifice good will, helpfulness, altruism, chill spirit - and get what? Envy, competition, dog-eat-dog, and quite a few last straws... You maybe get the money in the end... But for what? What is money when you've lost touch with your core, your soul, your heart? When you've chosen to take the easy path to success, paved with mean acts and others' suffering... You've become part of the mass of people who don't think twice before doing something evil /aka screwing others over in order to get what they want. And what happens to the good-do'ers? Who cares, they're a rare breed anyway... And what better feeling than tricking somebody who was just trying to be nice to you? Ha. Sure. Again, this world is headed in a wonderful direction - to a world of ponies, rainbows, happy fairies and butterflies... not.