Identical Issues

There's one more question that baffles me from time to time and sends me spinning into what I like to call 'identity crises'. Now, this is not something like a premature mid-life crisis or belated teenage crisis... It is an issue that we all probably think about.

The ever so philosophical question 'Who Am I?' probably bears no real answer. Consider this - you've lived with yourself all your life; you've seen yourself act in all sorts of situations and social settings; you know how you behave, you know what you think about the world in general... yet how do you know this is REALLY you...?

Confused? Let me try and shed light on what I'm trying to say... Personal example: one's tastes in everything change over time. My taste in music, movies, hobbies - has all been changing so much over the years. You could just say I'm eclectic like that;) Or you might think why my tastes changed...

It has to do a lot with the people I'm with. I'm very easily attached to friends and also easily influenced. If someone I like as a person tells me to watch a certain movie cause it's great, then I do that and really believe the movie's good. If a month later, though, someone else I like tells me they hated that same movie, I might be likely to change my mind and say, 'well, I saw it, but it wasn't good... I was indifferent'. Why would I do that?? It's technically hypocricy, no? I really don't want to think of myself as a hypocrite, at least not in its negative connotation. But what other explanation would there be? See, that's why I call these 'crises' of my identity. I don't know how much of me is me and how much is shaped by others... how much of me is the 'ultimate image' of myself that I want others to see? It all sounds like a masquerade, and that drives me nuts, cause I think I lose track of what exactly I am ... ugh. I try to maintain at least 80% of my behaviour/style with aaaaall people I see, yet depending on who I'm with I might be different. Does anyone else feel that way?

See, I don't know how to resolve that internal issue. I guess I'll find out as the years roll by... eventually some essence of me should be totally certain, right? Not to say that I don't have any essence right now, but sometimes even I don't know exactly what that is... Sigh.

I think I'm just trying to make life more complicated than it is haha. Or maybe I should just go to bed and stop thinking already!! lol. Oh the mysteries of life :) It's all quite entertaining, though. Everything in life can be fun if you find the right point of view. That being said, of course there are times when one has to be serious, focus, and set things straight without hesitation.

We should all try to be happy, though. As it has been proven in one scientific study, the happiness of one individual across time and space can bring positive energy to 90 000 other people on the planet. Good to know, right? It's a good enough motivation to be happy and above all the crappy things in life. Also, the more negative your view of life, the more you attract more negativity your way. So I suppose, the more you ponder about your identity, the more confused you become about it? Sounds about right... Out for now.