Rants of Randomness

Identical Issues

2009-01-27T02:12:00.002Z

There's one more question that baffles me from time to time and sends me spinning into what I like to call 'identity crises'. Now, this is not something like a premature mid-life crisis or belated teenage crisis... It is an issue that we all probably think about.

The ever so philosophical question 'Who Am I?' probably bears no real answer. Consider this - you've lived with yourself all your life; you've seen yourself act in all sorts of situations and social settings; you know how you behave, you know what you think about the world in general... yet how do you know this is REALLY you...?

Confused? Let me try and shed light on what I'm trying to say... Personal example: one's tastes in everything change over time. My taste in music, movies, hobbies - has all been changing so much over the years. You could just say I'm eclectic like that;) Or you might think why my tastes changed...

It has to do a lot with the people I'm with. I'm very easily attached to friends and also easily influenced. If someone I like as a person tells me to watch a certain movie cause it's great, then I do that and really believe the movie's good. If a month later, though, someone else I like tells me they hated that same movie, I might be likely to change my mind and say, 'well, I saw it, but it wasn't good... I was indifferent'. Why would I do that?? It's technically hypocricy, no? I really don't want to think of myself as a hypocrite, at least not in its negative connotation. But what other explanation would there be? See, that's why I call these 'crises' of my identity. I don't know how much of me is me and how much is shaped by others... how much of me is the 'ultimate image' of myself that I want others to see? It all sounds like a masquerade, and that drives me nuts, cause I think I lose track of what exactly I am ... ugh. I try to maintain at least 80% of my behaviour/style with aaaaall people I see, yet depending on who I'm with I might be different. Does anyone else feel that way?

See, I don't know how to resolve that internal issue. I guess I'll find out as the years roll by... eventually some essence of me should be totally certain, right? Not to say that I don't have any essence right now, but sometimes even I don't know exactly what that is... Sigh.

I think I'm just trying to make life more complicated than it is haha. Or maybe I should just go to bed and stop thinking already!! lol. Oh the mysteries of life :) It's all quite entertaining, though. Everything in life can be fun if you find the right point of view. That being said, of course there are times when one has to be serious, focus, and set things straight without hesitation.

We should all try to be happy, though. As it has been proven in one scientific study, the happiness of one individual across time and space can bring positive energy to 90 000 other people on the planet. Good to know, right? It's a good enough motivation to be happy and above all the crappy things in life. Also, the more negative your view of life, the more you attract more negativity your way. So I suppose, the more you ponder about your identity, the more confused you become about it? Sounds about right... Out for now.

Love, actually, is all around

2009-01-08T22:26:00.002Z

Okay, okay, fine, I admit that yesterday's post turned out a bit more negative than I intended. Blame it on the news and political publications I was reading - they can never set you in a happy mood haha.

Well, today for a change, my friend and I decided to watch one of the most romantic and sweet movies ever made, Love Actually. I had almost forgotten how good I feel after watching that movie! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside :) It makes my heart smile and it absolutely lifts my spirit.

The message of the movie - that love is all around, and it's practically the most powerful emotion out there - is so true. Forget about hate and all the negative things; just love :)

Love your life, love your friends, love what's happening around you, love chance and fate, love the momentary mishaps of life, love everything! If it works for you, love the fact that you don't have that many things to hate :) It's wonderful, any time you feel love in any shape or form. And remember that the world responds to the way you act in it... love the world and the world will love you back!

Haha, and now if you read the previous post you'd think I have a split personality, or bipolar disorder, or anything along those lines. No, not really, I just love the way that movie makes me feel and wish I could feel that aaaaall the time! :D

Oh, the Crazy World

2009-01-07T21:20:00.003Z

I am generally a happy person. I am definitely happy right now. Usually when I'm happy, I don't really feel like ranting, yet right now I feel like I have to write something about the current state of the world.

If you ask me what I think of the world as a whole, whether I like it or not, I would honestly say - no, not really. This is not to say that I hate everything, but just like each of you, I can see that there are sooo many things wrong with the world, and somehow we as humans are not making progress... rather, we're exacerbating the situation.

Here are just a few things that I don't like about the world we live in:

1) Unresovled aggression - that's possibly the most ridiculous human trait. Okay, we may be the 'smartest' of all animals, but mind you, we are the most evil creatures on the planet. We are capable of unresolved aggression... We get angry 'just because'. Hate that! So what, I've had a bad day, so I'm gonna round up my mates and we're going to go beat the heck out of some innocent kid till I feel superior or something? Since when is violence a better source of 'happiness' than chocolate?! Why do people choose to be evil rather than trying to figure things out through kindness somehow?

In the animal kingdom, any fights between creatures happen for a reason- to establish one's ranks within a pack, to get a better chunck of the zebra's meat or something along those lines. With people, aggression sparks off at random moments for no particular reasons. It's shocking how many young people especially have become increasingly aggressive. In the UK, 16-17 year-old little murderers are constantly in the papers; teenager stabs another teenager to death. Why? What would make a child prone to such violence?? I cannot imagine even getting the idea of taking someone's life. Parents might say, with all the TV violence and computer game violence, kids are definitely going to become more aggressive. But that's not always the case; kids have the unique opportunity of observing acts of aggression live, at home or out on the street. It's so easy to spot adults arguing over something, or fist fights bursting out of the blue... TV of course helps shape kids into lean, mean fighting machines, but perhaps we should consider more how we act in the real world, setting an example for younger people, rather than blaming everything on virtual reality.

Besides, aggression is INcreasing! That should ring a bell right away that the entire human race is weaving away from 'civilized manners' and is going straight back to the 'dark ages' when violence was the way to go. It seems to me that people are changing, genetically. Little hateful genes are outnumbering the good genes. If there one thing we've learned throughout the ages, it is that it's much easier to achieve one's goals if you go down the violent path. Kill the competition, betray people, be sneaky and backstabbing, threaten others, blackmail and tease others - yeah, those are the paths to success these days... Sadly.

Our entire world has become centered around hatred. We're all trying to promote love, but we're actually realizing that hatred is easier and in some ways stronger. For example, you join PETA... why? Is it because you loooove animals that much and don't want to see them suffer, or is it because you hate fur-traders' guts and you feel a sick kind of satisfaction when you ruin their plans? I don't know, I'm only worried that hatred is definitely overwhelming... You can feel it. You can hear people complain all the time - it's easier to complain; it's always easy to find something you disagree with, to be negative about everything - but what about the other side; what about appreciating things, seeing the good side, being grateful for what there is, trying to change things that bother you?... See, you could say right now that I'm a hypocrite because technically... even through the name of this very blog, I'm complaining! True, I don't deny it. I AM complaining. But I guess through writing this rambling rant, I'm trying to change something. Perhaps I'll be the only person who reads that... quite possibly. Yet there is a slim chance that someone else will read this, agree, and perhaps take action; I don't feel like I'm in a position to take action... I doubt my actions will change much. Still, I'll try something; we all know that billions of little droplets make up the ocean :)

Back to the point:
Human aggression and violence are disturbingly high. Both on a local level (eg school shooting, gang violence) and on a global level (war, anyone?); on a physical (killing) and mental level ('crushing' someone through words for example); in almost every situation, hatred leaks out and poisons everything. Wow, that sounds emo... But I guess once you start thinking about it, you sort of see that it's true to a degree...

2) Since I mentioned war anyway, and since it's definitely time for a different point, I want to continue this long rant by stating that I am not fond of this economically-driven world. Most of the aforementioned violence and aggression, on an international level at least, would not be happening had it not been for economic interests around the globe. Each and every war has economic roots. 'Oh, we're on a mission to spread democracy to the Middle East.' Right, and OIL has nothing to do with it... Bless you, oh, benevolent democracy spreaders! All these conflicts, all the troubles around the world come from political and economic interests. Who gets involved, what are the stakes, what are the consequences for the global world order - such questions are considered when deciding the peace/war map of the world. Nobody really cares how people will feel - the people who get to live through the war, who are right there, amidst the flames and mortars... does anyone give them a choice? Are they even going to enjoy the spoils of that war? Hmmmm.. No. They're inferior, they can suffer, nobody will hear them anyway. The media will portray what We want them to (We=the puppet masters), the spin doctors will tell the tale We want to be told... *sinister laughter*.

Consider the latest crisis unfoiling in the Middle East. Once again, political and economic interests are involved; old hatreds are rekindled; the ones in power are baffled how to act, should they stop the violence or stay true to their underlying interests... It's crazy either way! So many innocent people are dying; children, of course, are dying. A bunch of people donated their facebook statuses to the death toll count in Gaza. Argh, it's just the same story over and over again!!! Violence in the Middle East never ends! It's always been a region torn by conflicts, whyyy? Because for some reason (not oil, nah), the US and western countries had to get involved over there and ruin the established order, promising people liberty and democracy, not realizing that the same formula CANNOT be applied to all cases! Talk about misjudging a situation! Why couldn't the western countries accept that things will be run differently in that region and that's that. Oh wait, yeah, the reason they couldn't stay out of it is cause of oil, among others. Find an alternate energy source already, dammit! No wait, if another source of energy is found, conflicts in the Mid East will cease, and we can't have that, can we? Why try to make the world a better place when it's all fine and dandy being as crazy as it is right now.... Also, avoid simple solutions at all costs; the more complex they are, the better.

I don't know, the more I write, the more confused I become... or the angrier I get... or I don't know what exactly, but it seems to me that nothing has to be that complicated and baffling... everything is so simple!!! In my head at least... :S

This post has become too long as it is... I don't know what to say now, except that it seems to me that we've all lost our way. Why are we even on this planet? To make money? To exploit those weaker than us? To feel good or what? Why do people keep thinking they are soooo great when in fact, we have been cursed in a way, with being the most self-contradicting creatures alive. We believe we believe in things so strongly, but we never really do. We think one way, we act another one. We realize when we go against our so-called principles; yet when that anti-principle urge striks, it's so strong that you find it hard to resist... and all of a sudden you forget your principles. We all change over time, we also change for the moment; I know that I myself act differently around different people, depending on whether they are close friends or not; in fact, I'm not even sure who I am. I have an idea of who I am, but I can never know for sure if that's really me. Wham, now we go off into philosophy; better not go down that slope.

I think I could conclude by saying that it is perfectly understandable that our world is far from perfect; I mean, when you think about it, it's often difficult to set things straight in your own head, let alone the entire planet! If individuals themselves are not 100% certain of who they are, what they value, and how everything goes, then there's no chance for groups of people to know exactly how to act and what to do, and then the entire world is thrown off balance.... If only we could just go by our instincts, like animals, life would be so much easier, right? We would be capable of unconditional love, of knowing exactly what we need to feel happy, of living for the moment, of coexisting with only the necessary amount of drama and conflict... and the planet would be a much cleaner and better place, really. Alas, it's not that simple, so let's go ahead and continue being the complex, superior beings we are...

We are waiting for the steps to move

2008-10-26T21:50:00.003Z

Apparently that's what the pilot tells you at Heathrow terminal 5 when there is no driver available for the little step-truck thingy that attaches to the plane's entrance and allows all the passengers to disembark (that is one word I was really confused about till recently).

Today I felt like updating 'em blogs for the sake of principle, mainly.

Happiness. That's what I feel at the moment. A small, warm, fuzzy feeling inside me (no, I did not eat a hamster or something). It makes me full of energy and love <3 You know, love for all my friends and people who love me back :) It's a win-win situation! Happiness can come from anywhere, and there is nothing better than finding happiness all around you, even when you're not technically looking for it.

Appreciation. One has to appreciate the precious gift that is life - with all its up's and down's and swirls and loops... It's life and you've got it! And you should be thankful about anything that happens to you! Appreciate others, appreciate yourself.

Simplicity. Life is simple, like a game. The goal is to, erm, reach the end and score the most points. I don't know, interpret that as you find appropriate. I think people tend to overcomplicate life just cause it's 'the greatest mystery'.. 'why are we here?' ... 'what is our divine purpose - and why are we so much different from any other living creature on earth?' I don't know.

Honestly I don't know where this post is even headed. I might be writing a stream-of-consciousness piece (unconsciously!). Whatever it is I'm doing, I believe my ultimate goal is to say that I'm really grateful about everything that happens to me. Seriously, I wouldn't change my life if someone offered me that option. Sure, it has its bad sides, but come on, why focus on them? Just go with the cool side, the bright side (ask Monty Python for details).

Life is not that complicated. Go with it! Not with the flow, of course, for that would mean you're a sheep floating in a river. Go with what life gives you is more of a statement I would make.

Be awesome!

And you'll see the steps will move and you'll get off the plane alright.

The Quiet Streets of Richmond

2008-08-18T17:13:00.003+01:00

Picture London, one of the greatest cities in the world! Multicultural population, thousands of people living together, with so many tourists around all the time it's hard to ever be alone, you might think.... Some areas in this busy city are quite the opposite: quiet, deserted, suspended in time.

I was thinking about that tonight as I was walking up Richmond Hill. It was barely 8:30 p.m. yet for a 20-minute walk, I saw 6 people... SIX. And they were all in the more popular part of the borough. It feels so strange to walk in the darkness (London is way up north so it gets dark early) and hear no sound except for the occassional wind whistling and see no one around me... For a moment, I really thought time had stopped and I was the only person out there.

I was the sole soul roaming these streets. There was a black cat, too. All the little English houses were dark, though a few had their lights on, but no one in the living room. Only two homes were inhabited at that time, one of an artist who also kept fitness equipment in his living room, and the other of a person watching TV. Where did everyone go? In all those movies where a nuclear weapon wipes out all people but miraculously leaves the houses intact, the main character would walk down deserted streets, pretty much like I did tonight.

I could even hum my own song... Heck, I could shout at the top of my voice and no one would care because no one would hear because no one was there! Solitude can be depressing.

Only I was not depressed - far from it, I was imagining I was the main character in such a movie and was trying to solve the mystery of all the disappearing people... :)

Once again I need to say, maybe out of the blue, that people should be happy with what they get. They should cherish the moments of happiness and not focus on everything negative in their lives. That is where most problems with people come from - from their inability to APPRECIATE things. I could have wined about how boring those streets were and how I was oh so alone and miserable... HA. Some other time, baby.

Like artists who make sculptures out of junk they have at hand, or cooks who just look in the fridge and make do with whatever's in there only to create a Jamie-Oliver-class meal... in such a manner, people should take advantage of what they have and be glad they have it!

So stop complaining NOW and be grateful for even being here!

Miscommunication

2008-07-15T17:14:00.002+01:00

It's unbelievable how one tiny detail changes the Big Picture.
A different sound, a different letter... changes the meaning.
A different word - oh lord - can have dire consequences.

Miscommunication.

As a communications major, I believe I understand the tremendous importance of effective communication, seen as anything we do probably needs to go through other 'brinks' in this chain, and all the elements need to be on the same page.

(Gosh my grandpa's here blasting the radio in the room next door cause he can't hear too well = me frustrated for no particular reason... it always happens when I'm trying to focus on something... somebody walks in and the Great Distraction begins... end of ranty aside)

The same page.
The same paragraph.
The same line.
The same word.
The same letter.

See, it can always be broken down to the smallest particles, like protons and electrons and various laws of attraction. Attraction is the force that keeps us together.

Pull yourself together!

Not an easy task. You need another body to 'pull yourself together' because your own gravitational field is not strong enough to pull your particles together, at least mentally.

Mental health is as important as physical health, and strongly linked to it too.

My mom and dad and I had an argument a couple of nights back. Why? My dad and I are freaks, we have the type of sense of humor that makes a joke out of pretty much anything. We were fully employing that sense of humor on mom. Until she felt genuinely hurt... She wasn't talking to us for a while. She was angry. Why?

MIS communication... understanding... take... use... any of these really....

and this is where i draw the line

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The fruit and the tree...

2008-06-29T16:23:00.002+01:00

I don't like kids, and we all know that too well. I especially despise kids who are misbehaved, annoying, spoilt, mean, weird, and ugly...

Well, I know one kid like that. He's a boy, 12.5 years old. Annoying as can be! Actually, let me rephrase that, he's almost as annoying as his disgusting father. Seriously. I'm not exagerrating and I'm not ashamed to use negative words to describe that family from hell... :) (Keep in mind that I'm a lovable creature in general).

So that kid, who you would imagine killing kittens, breaking windows, defacing public property, and bullying others in his spare time, decided to keep me company yesterday for about an hour. See, I am a kind creature or else I would have never let the brat sit next to me... And there I was, with my guard put up high, and with all the aforementioned activities coming up in my mind.. talking to the kid.

He saw me draw again. And he said nice things about my drawings... And I thought, wow... What's gotten into the brat?! He can actually be GOOD? (*just as a side note, that child is really one you'd be amazed to see do anything positive).

Then he decided to join me - he asked for a piece of paper, took some crayons and asked if he could watch me draw and learn from what he called 'the master.' So I thought, okay, no problem, let's do this.

As we were drawing, he said that his dream was ... to become... an ARTIST... !! (my jaw dropped imaginarily)... And then... even more jaw-droppingly, he said that he also wants to help endangered animals when he grows up.. WHAT??? My world was shattered... Is this the same kid? Mm-m-maybe some alien has taken over his body and is saying those things... Seriously...

I was amazed and mildly pleased. I also felt like a fool.

It just made me think about the old saying that "the fruit never falls far from the tree." The "tree" in this case - his father - is a scary, mean monster who bosses everyone around, shouts at his family, doesn't show any affection towards his son (or daughter), and is, so to say, almost as nice to have around as a bullet to your brain. No joke. He abuses that child, by the way.. he's just too aggressive and violent- sometimes he scares my parents and the other adults with his behaviour... yet no one is brave enough to oppose him. Evindetly, a kid which has been treated like crap all his life would likely become a psycho or a serial killer.. NOT an animal rescuer...?! Hmm... Well, hopefully the little boy will grow beyond his father's tyranny and will live a happy life somewhere in Africa alongside sleek cheetahs (his favorite animals)....

Road Rage

2008-06-23T19:10:00.004+01:00

My lazy summer days ceased last week as I began an internship at a company in Bulgaria. As part of my job, I was given the task to research everything and anything related to Bulgarian drivers...

Ah, Bulgarian drivers. Such sweet people... such tolerant, patient souls... pedestrians are always safe, always have the right to cross the street without any danger for their lives... IN ANOTHER COUNTRY perhaps...

In Bulgaria, it is exactly the opposite. If you're standing on the ground, you have to follow a set of ground rules, or else survival is futile. Here is some expert advice to anyone interested.

DRIVERS
Okay, you're in your car, heading to work. What is the first thing you should know when driving? - everyone else is a moron. Therefore, rule number one is, never trust any other driver. If you're trying to get on a main road from a side street and you see a car which is headed towards you, but seems to be slowing down, WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT try to go on the main road because as soon as you speed up, the other car will speed up too, cross your way, and possibly blow its horn as loudly as it can at you. Expect finger gestures too.
Load your tank with gas (despite high gas prices), and more importantly, load yourself with patience... It will be aggressive, it will be fierce, it will be unbearable, yet you should not give in! Chillax. Turn on the radio, sing out loud, and NEVER look other drivers in the eyes, as that will probably give them a reason to shout at you.
Beware from little VW cars which zoom from lane to lane as if they're part of Midtown Madness or the Beetle Crazy Cup (both are computer games). Also, when cars in general want to make maneuvers, you should bless their drivers if they turn on their signal lights as they make the turn.
Counting seems to be an issue. If there are two lanes on the road, and those two lanes lead to a set of 2 traffic lights, how in the world is it possible to fit three queues of cars on there!?
Bus lane - is to be used by everyone, including horse carts.
Ambulances, police cars, firetrucks - are not to be allowed to pass you. Right, who cares if a blue light is blinking? The garbage truck has a blue light too, but do we let that one go? Nope.

PEDESTRIAN SCALE SYSTEM
Elderly people (60+) - 10 points
Adults (25-59) - 15 points
Adolescents (13-25) - 20 points
Kids (0-12) - 25 points
Lawyers (666) - 30 points
Politicians ($$$) - 70 points

How to apply scale: for every pedestrian you run over, you add the amount of points listed next to it. Points allotted according to a) size and mobility of target (the more difficult it is to hit, the more points you get); b) how much you hate the target (more hatred, more points; you are allowed to add 200 extra hate points to targets that drive you especially insane).
First driver to reach 2000 points in a year wins!! (Record holder: 8 750 points/year)

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Pedestrians are not safe with the raging drivers around. Whether they cross at a cross-walk, or at a green light, or just randomly in the middle of a busy road, their chances of getting hit are pretty much the same.

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Once again, being aggressive, screwing up others, causing trouble, shouting, pointing fingers, spitting, swearing, sweating, honking, and other wonderful activities have become the cornerstone of Bulgarian driving etiquette.

Good night.

Conflict and Compromise

2008-06-16T20:58:00.002+01:00

Last year I learned in my Organizational Behaviour class that compromise is one of the efficient ways to deal with conflicts. Two sides want something, each side gets something, only no one really gets what they originally asked for. Still, mutual happiness, partial if so, is still achieved. It seems like you're holding a winning hand when you're settling on a compromise... But what do you actually lose in order to gain whatever you're after?

I am not specifically referring to compromise in the business deal sense of the word because frankly I don't have the expertise or ambition to teach you successful business skills. I would like to show you the human side of compromise, also known as giving up/changing part of your identity due to external circumstances.

We, humans, are always put to a test - a test of our values, of our morals, of our personal strength. Our goals and aspirations are a target way up high, and we'd do almost anything to reach it. Along the bumpy road to that target, we'll meet other people who, just like us, are struggling to reach their own little goals. Those who will boost us to our target faster become our 'friends', while the others who seem to a) be heading towards OUR target or b) be preventing us from reaching our target immediately become 'enemies'. But wait, here's the trick: soon we build up a new goal - to crush our enemies at all costs! And look, before we know it, we've redirected our energy towards preventing others from taking our goals instead of solely trying to reach those goals. Does it make any sense? As I'm writing this, I can just see some people saying "Well, how do we follow our own goals if we don't make sure we're not threatened by others' plans?". The answer is.. I don't really know.

But let me tell you a story to try to illustrate what I mean. My parents were giving me one of those 'talks' which are a nightmare for every child. The two of them against me. Of course we didn't reach the state of open fire, but that's mainly because I despise arguing... and it's also much easier to end a fight if only one side is 'shooting' whereas the other one is silently taking the hits, but healing quickly too. Either way, the topic of discussion was.. my future. Great! Just what I needed - an argument about virtually unknown things. I don't know what my future is and I have no idea where I will end up in a couple of years. My parents were telling me, though, that no matter what career I chose, I'd have to be more pushy and aggressive, and out there, showing off my ideas and "mashing everyone along the way." End quote. Also, apparently others will constantly be trying to snatch the fruits of my hard work and present them as their own. In other words, my parents painted a pretty dramatic picture of the real world, complete with hatred, competition, and hypocrisy. And surely they would know, since they've been living in the 'real world' for a while now and have encountered too many people who tried to stab them in the back many a times.

And that's when I started thinking about this whole thing... The world is evil anyway. Hatred, aggression, individuality, zealous ambitions are everywhere! Everyone wants to succeed, apparently, and the easiest way to success is through others - literally squishing them along the way. No competition, no concerns. We all become part of the great dehumanizing machine where the fuel and energy comes from .... money. Sadly, material goals usually are preferred to non-material ones...
Why build a career? - Money
Why go to school? - To make money eventually with the education we got...
What do you want to have when you grow up? - A nice house, a pony, and a closet full of shoes!! (aka money)

Money is needed for almost everything these days! People go crazy for it - cash, cards, dollars, pounds, coins, gold - any shape or size, with preference for greater value; people kill for money, betray for money, wage war for money, bribe others for (and with) money, brainwash society for money, make goods to make money, marry for money, go into business to make money, strive to succeed at any cost for money..........

So here is the business deal: on one side you have YOU, your morals and values. On the other side, you have a big safe full of hard cash. Hmmmm... You really want that cash, right? Well, your parents may have taught you honesty and integrity, yet you seem to be willing to compromise those along with some other human characteristics in order to get at least part of the cash in return. You sacrifice good will, helpfulness, altruism, chill spirit - and get what? Envy, competition, dog-eat-dog, and quite a few last straws... You maybe get the money in the end... But for what? What is money when you've lost touch with your core, your soul, your heart? When you've chosen to take the easy path to success, paved with mean acts and others' suffering... You've become part of the mass of people who don't think twice before doing something evil /aka screwing others over in order to get what they want. And what happens to the good-do'ers? Who cares, they're a rare breed anyway... And what better feeling than tricking somebody who was just trying to be nice to you? Ha. Sure. Again, this world is headed in a wonderful direction - to a world of ponies, rainbows, happy fairies and butterflies... not.

On Love and Life...

2008-06-15T22:10:00.000+01:00

I should be sleeping now. I really should. But somehow I can't go to bed... Once again I've been thrown off balance by the foolish acts of others. Let me start off from the beginning....

I have big ears. Therefore, I hear a lot of things, some of which I probably shouldn't know... One fact I heard is that the year 2008, being a leap year, is considered the year of separations, the year of divorce, the year of broken relationships. As all things overheard, I am not 100% sure that this statement is true, yet I have enough stories to make me believe that 2008 is indeed a bad year for relationships.

I've been back home for about a month. In that month, I've heard AT LEAST 6 stories of love drama and divorces... and you know what is even worse?? Most of these families never had problems; they seemed like a perfect match! And one day... POOF. It's all gone.

Also quite coincidentally, most of the 'culprits' are around or right above the emblematic age of 50. These mature men who have been living decent to wonderful lives with their wives, all of a sudden decide to go for younger flesh... For something fresh, slim, blonde, long-legged, juicy, sexy...and for the most part something lacking any personality... These men have lost their minds and have started thinking with their 'little heads' which are incapable of anything but stiff thinking. I am sorry but this is appalling!

People who until yesterday were talking about soulmates and true love start hunting down blonde chicks today with the sole idea of humping. How can they let this happen? How can they hurt the ones they love so much? Of course, you'll tell me, sometime a marriage can get a little bit stale, and since men practically live for sex 80% of the time, they might need some spice in their lives. But to see people - who were happy with their spouses, who kept saying how much they love each other, and who were making plans of basically dying alongside each other - forget everything and jump on the hump wagon is just unbelievably shocking.

What is this world coming to? What happened to love? How is it that one could leave their best friend, soulmate, and lover for a sexy body????? It makes no sense. And okay, these men in their fifties, leave their wives, find young lovers, and make sweet love.. for how long Gramps? Don't they understand that if they hook up with a 25-35 year old woman, she might be interested in them for a bit, but soon their semen power will go down drastically and then what? Oh wait, they won't think about that.. ever.. because they are blinded by boobs.

And what about their wives? These women, 40 and over, are thrown out like old, raggedy bags. What, so a woman who no longer has the perfect waist and shiny skin is not worth anything? What is this cult to the skinny body anyway? It's utterly shallow and materialistic. It shows that there is great confusion among people about true values...

These affairs cause nothing more than suffering for the women and perhaps temporary pleasure for the men. Still, I personally feel like kicking all those men really hard in the place which makes them leave their wives, technically. These adults were supposed to be role models for their children, but instead they have betrayed every value they have ever tried to teach their kids.

Today, kids, we learn the values of:
*backstabbing
*shallowness
*physical over spiritual connection
*listening to the reproductive system instead of to the brain
*lying and deceit
*stupidity
*generally spitting on everything you believed in and taking a new direction

I don't know if I should be angry or depressed, or desperate, or indifferent, or amused... Anything is possible, really. And this whole month has turned into a soap opera... Could make some money off of it if nothing else...

A New Beginning

2008-06-15T00:17:00.000+01:00

Hello Dear Reader.
I am 21 years old - the age when I am legally an adult in every country around the world and am expected to act as one as a result. Yet I still run into so many people who look down on me because of my age and 'lack of experience', they say. Perhaps I have not lived on this earth as long as others have; and maybe I have not been through as many challenges as others; and maybe I never had my life completely in my hands, financially or otherwise... yet I believe I understand how this world works. Or let me rephrase that - I understand how this world should ideally work.

And so I have decided to dedicate this blog to my own thoughts about ... everything and anything. From existential questions to mediocre daily happenings, I will try to put through my point of view. You are welcome to read anything you want and to get any meaning out of my ponderings... I just feel the urge to share these thoughts with you. Enjoy.